Resentment Ruins Relationships

Published: 15th September 2010
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Don't let resentment take root or it will overturn your mature dating relationship and cause bitterness to fester and grow. Resentment so easily creeps into our relationships, yet it is one of the hardest things to get rid of. Resentment creates feelings of displeasure, feelings of being hurt and angry. Holding onto resentment will only cause a relationship to fail. It is important to stay open and avoid feeling offended by your new partner. If something is offensive that happens early on in your dating relationship be sure to identify it and discuss it with your new love interest.

So what does this all mean and how does it affect our relationships If we want to be in a mature dating relationships, how do we become well versed in the signs of offensive attacks that lead to resentment and how do we deal with this issue correctly before it becomes a problem?

Something so slight like a tacky comment can cause even the biggest problem in a relationship. If your partner says something that offends you, even if he or she did not mean to say it, this can become a big problem. This is why it is important to bring it up right away. Once you learn how to handle these issues, you will realize that if you want to be a part of a mature relationship, you need to swiftly deal with this offense and move on before it overruns your relationship like weeds try to take over a garden.

Recognize when you are offended and then start the open lines of communication with your partner to get this issue resolved as soon as possible. Many times your partner won't even understand what he or she did to offend you because it was an unknowing offense. Those are sometimes the worst kinds of offenses because your partner does not even realize that he or she offended you and you are so hurt by that offense that you don't even open your mouth to express your hurt feelings. This is where resentment can take over in your relationship and cause problems for years to come. If your partner does not know you're offended, how can the situation be made better if you don't say anything to let your partner know what you're feeling?

If your partner knowingly offended you during an argument, this is a different type of offense, because then you become offended and most likely in the heat of the moment, you retort back and offend your partner and this becomes a vicious cycle. You both should be cognizant of the offenses being thrown back and forth, especially if you are participating in a mature dating relationship where you take personal responsibility for your behavior. However, many times during an argument, we are not the best judges of our actions and we hurt each other needlessly.

The best defense against resentment is to try not to offend your partner and if you're offended by something your partner said or did, you need to speak to your partner about it as soon as it happens or at least as soon as you both have a moment alone. If you're in a public place, it's very bad if your partner offends you publicly. However, the best thing if you want to be involved in a mature dating relationship, is to get alone somewhere and discuss this issue privately. This is between you two and no one else should be privy to your discussion of it. Don't let resentment end what could be the best relationship you ever had.

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